by Ryan Simpson
Background
The UoB pre-sessional course includes the SAQ (Short Answer Question) as an assessment item (20% of the total), and classes every week are dedicated to preparing students for a summative examination in which they will write two 250-word essays.
The Sociology theme makes use of topics contextualised largely to the UK, such as the Family, Health, and Crime and Deviance. The rationale behind this choice is complex but academic departments, it seems, like to see timed writing as an assessment item. It also allows students to engage with literature and sources, and attempt to use these in creating an argument and forming a position.
This article focuses on just this. It looks at a six-week pre-sessional learner’s growth as an SAQ writer (taking a position and using sources) over the duration of the course, via five essays. The first three were written in class to a time limit but notes were allowed. The essay title had also been previously seen. The fourth was written in class without notes, and the final was a mock essay, written just before the real examination, in timed conditions, and again without notes. The learner is referred to as Li, a pseudonym.
Through this short study, I am not looking for a trajectory of ‘improvement’, but instead looking at how, through the progression of the course, my own and others’ written feedback, and my continuing advice, the student learned – or failed – to include sources in support of her position; these were the relevant pages from a Sociology textbook by Browne (2011) and a recorded lecture, which was to be watched for homework. From both, learners were expected to take notes, which were compared in pairs in a Monday morning classroom session.
Four SAQ essays
1
Li’s first essay had the title:
Education plays the most important role in preparing a child for adulthood. Discuss.
Li’s thesis statement (essentially her introduction) was, ‘Although a child is influenced by family, living environment and many factors consistently since they were born, I still approve of the idea that education plays the main role in getting a child ready for adulthood.’
Positives here are the use of the complex sentence and the attempt at paraphrasing, within which her thesis is largely clear. However, during the essay, she does not refer to sources, even if she has used, to a degree, ideas from the book chapter or lecture. She attempts, clumsily, to mention Bloom’s Taxonomy, something she has learned on the initial week of the course, but it is does not fit with the subject. Reference to China is quite apparent, too.
2
Week two’s writing on the topic of the British family shows some advance. Her introduction does look more academic.
‘With the development of society, there has been a change from segregated to integrated conjugal roles between males and females in the family which is also called the emergence of the symmetrical family (Browne 2011, p 109). However, the change is still regional and limited as a whole which means the main challenges in creating gender equality in the family cannot be ignored.’
Li then goes on to offer a nice topic sentence of ‘Traditional concepts might be the first barrier stand in the way of reformation’. Yet in the sentences that follow, she does not refer to the sources. Her second main body paragraph begins well with, ‘The physical condition creates a lot of gender inequalities as well. Males and females born with different strength means it is hard for women to fix household equipment and to do some repairs (Browne, 2011, p109)’. She then adds another four sentences related to this particular reason for inequality, but without bringing in sources to support her argument, where reference to the lecture, for instance, would have stood her in good stead. A final third, but short, paragraph fails to reference either.
3
The SAQ for week 4 was based on the title ‘Conflict Theory claims that the law is biased and favours the most wealthy and powerful members of society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?’
Li’s introduction again shows development in this area, ‘Conflict approach, pointed out by Browne, suggests that inequality in power may lead to different treatment and definitions of crime or deviance. Therefore, laws which claim to protect each citizen’s rights may be biased and influenced by the ruling class such as entrepreneurs, judges and politicians to a great extent’.
Rather than saying that the author Browne himself had come up with the concept of conflict theory (as a handful of other students had implied), Li has used the verb ‘point out’. She has also used hedging language with ‘suggest’ and ‘may’; the connector ‘therefore’ connects the sentences logically. This promising start was held back however by quite a poor first paragraph which was not very easy to understand, despite attempts at complex language, and had no citations. In fact, through the essay she fails to refer to Browne again or to the lecture; she does include a sociological source which I had included as additional material in a previous lesson. The sentences using this source do suggest improvement in citation.
‘Besides, there is a sample study given by Carson (1971) that is over two hundred firms in Britain admitted that they have broken health and safety laws at least once, however only 1.5% were prosecuted. According to this sample, the great influence of laws from wealthy and powerful members cannot be overlooked’.
4
The final essay example was a timed mock. The title was: ‘How do sociologists approach understanding health inequality in modern British society’.
Li shows more conciseness in the introduction with ‘In my opinion, causes of inequality can be complex including both the culture approach and material approach (Browne, 2011)’, which follows some background on the theme. Linking paragraph to paragraph appears to be a little better with the topic sentence for the second body paragraph: ‘In fact, there are more and more people in the UK who choose an unhealthy lifestyle by themselves in recent times’. She then goes on to explicate this yet, unfortunately, fails to cite at all, thus condemning her essay to a lower band than she is capable of.
Discussion
The learner’s progress is not linear with demonstrable improvement in using sources. The final essay was a mock, so one might expect the importance of the citations to have fallen by the wayside somewhat. However, Li only cited Browne twice in this writing and still failed to ‘weave’ ideas from what she had learned by following the course-driven sociology input. Furthermore, in the period, she did not refer to the lecture once, even if she had alluded to the ideas.
Going forward
I believe this example points to some tips for pre-sessional teachers.
As regards peer assessment, learners commenting on others’ essays can receive some classroom input on spotting use of sources to support a position. They can use coloured pens to highlight citations and lack of them. As the course progresses, the level of feedback on this can be increased, to focus on substance and citation style.
In terms of awareness raising, short model paragraphs (which are, incidentally, included in the course materials) can be employed to contrast paragraphs with/ without reference to sources.
Regarding this individual student, she needed to increase her focus on autonomous learning, focusing more, and building knowledge on the lectures provided. That she did not capitalise on this, has affected her SAQ performance. Thus, earlier interventions by tutors are required.
We know that assessment in EAP is not always about correction but about information and intervention, bridging the gap between current ability and a desired one. With this information, learners can become architects of their academic futures, and face assessment in EAP with more confidence.
